Thursday, April 21, 2011

On a positive note...

Things seem to be looking up. I know we all have days when things are good, and other days when things are as bad as ever...and since I don't know what kind of day tomorrow will be, I'm just going to focus on today. Today is a good day.

As some of you may know, I love to knit. I actually use it as a form of therapy, because it forces me to focus my mind on something positive...and I am therefore unable to spend time thinking negative thoughts while knitting. I also love dogs, and have a 4 months old King Charles Spaniel (Daisy). So, it only made sense to combine these two loves while trying to do something to occupy my time.

I recently started a little venture called Dogs and Daisies. In short, I'm designing and knitting custom stylish dog wear. The idea was to create pieces for dogs that are truly different...fashionable yet functional, and above all, unique.  Here are a few pieces I'm proud of...

While Daisy's wardrobe is in rapid expansion mode, I decided to put some items up on can find me at I've also jumped onto the twitter bandwagon (@DogsAndDaisies) so I can share some of my random knit-bits.

I don't know whether putting myself out there like this again is a good idea or not. In hindsight, I'm not ever sure why I'm doing it, given my intense fear of judgment and rejection...anyways, I guess we'll see what happens!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Living in the Land of Regret

My emotions get the best of me, and I hate myself for it. It pretty much feels like watching an accident happen in slow motion, and even though I know that the outcome is going to be horrific, I can't seem to tear my eyes away from it. The worst part, though, is when the accident is over and the damage is done, because that's when the real pain begins. I regret so much. And I can't seem to forgive myself for any of it. I have scars on my arms that will be with me forever, as a reminder of my darkest of days. I am embarrassed, both for my actions and my scars. I know I will get better (in some ways I already am) but when?? There are still so many days where it is taking all my strength to hold on...but I do, and will continue to do so. Because there are other days when I see the future...and it is beautiful. I just need to figure out how to get from this land to there.