Monday, April 11, 2011
Living in the Land of Regret
My emotions get the best of me, and I hate myself for it. It pretty much feels like watching an accident happen in slow motion, and even though I know that the outcome is going to be horrific, I can't seem to tear my eyes away from it. The worst part, though, is when the accident is over and the damage is done, because that's when the real pain begins. I regret so much. And I can't seem to forgive myself for any of it. I have scars on my arms that will be with me forever, as a reminder of my darkest of days. I am embarrassed, both for my actions and my scars. I know I will get better (in some ways I already am) but when?? There are still so many days where it is taking all my strength to hold on...but I do, and will continue to do so. Because there are other days when I see the future...and it is beautiful. I just need to figure out how to get from this land to there.